You and your partner have been arguing over the same issues, but you just can’t seem to communicate without it turning into a fight.
Most of the arguments start over the smallest things. You just want your partner to actually care about what you’re trying to say, but it feels like every time you try to talk to them, they shut down. It’s infuriating.
Or maybe you’re the one who finds yourself shutting down. Sometimes it feels like no matter what you do, nothing is ever good enough. So you keep your mouth shut, hoping that this will keep the conversation from escalating the way it usually does.
Regardless of which role you take, this pattern leaves both partners feeling hurt, angry, and so alone.
You still remember what it was like back when you felt like you were a team. It was you and your partner against the world, but now it feels like everything has changed and you don’t know where to start to get it back.
How Can Counseling Help My Relationship?
In therapy, I help couples identify their unique cycle and then give them tools to reverse it.
When I’m working with a couple on communication, I focus less on each individual argument and more on what’s going on behind the scenes. I identify the pattern – or cycle – that seems to emerge during arguments and help partners understand their part in it.
In most couples, there’s someone who tends to initiate the conflict. It’s not that they want to argue; they just want things to get better. So they approach their partner and try to resolve the issue.
Problem is, their partner starts to feel attacked like nothing they do is ever good enough. So they get quiet, they shut down, or they run (not literally, but sometimes that too).
Herein lies the start of the cycle. One partner becomes angry and accusatory, while the other one shuts down and refuses to engage.
By helping couples address their cycle and the underlying emotions that come along with it, I’m also able to give them new ways to communicate.
In therapy, you’ll learn how to have difficult conversations with each other so that you’re both left feeling heard and understood – even if you don’t agree (and you’ll never agree on everything, no matter how much therapy you get).
Imagine being able to talk to your partner again and to feel like they’re actually listening to you. Imagine being acknowledged for how hard you work instead of being criticized for what you’re not doing well enough.
Skaneateles Couples Counseling
Online Therapy in New York and Florida
How Does It Work?
First, you’ll schedule your 10-minute phone consultation so that I can answer any questions you may have about counseling. If you decide to move forward, then you can schedule your intake session with me over the phone or online.
Prior to your first appointment, you’ll receive a link to your own customized client portal.
There, you can complete all of your intake paperwork at your leisure from the comfort of your own home. There’s no need to arrive early to your first appointment, as I will already have had the chance to review your paperwork and learn about your unique situation.
The intake session is 1 hour and includes both of you.
This first session is not as scary as most people think it is. I spend most of the time just getting to know you and your relationship: I’ll ask questions about how you first met, what things drew you to one another, and then we’ll talk a little bit about the challenges that have led you to therapy.
At that point, we’ll come up with a plan for our time together, including a rough estimate of how many sessions to expect.
How Often Do We Need To Come?
All couples start at a frequency of one session each week, and sessions are 50 minutes long. You may also opt to extend your sessions on a case-by-case basis.
Once you and your partner are starting to see real movement in the quality of your relationship, then we begin tapering off by meeting every other week.
I do this to allow plenty of time for couples to practice using the skills they’ve learned in counseling. When you hit a bump or a roadblock, we’ll be able to process that together and troubleshoot.
Many couples complete therapy in a matter of 12-16 sessions (3-4 months).
Imagine feeling close again in just a matter of a few months. You both will have learned so much about each other — things that would have never come up had you not taken this step.
You’ll be able to openly share things with each other like you did in the beginning. You’ll actually desire each other again, and you’ll look forward to coming home to each other at the end of every day.
I can help you get there. Schedule your free, 10-minute phone consultation and get started today.