Infidelity and Betrayal
You Just Can’t Believe It.
When you first found out, you probably weren’t even sure what you were looking at. You felt confused, like maybe it was an email sent to the wrong address, or a text sent to the wrong number.
Then it hit you.
Suddenly, you became a scary version of yourself, a version that you’ve never seen. You frantically searched through every email, every Facebook message, and every text. You had to figure out what happened and where you went wrong.
It’s like you simultaneously wanted to know everything while also hoping that there was nothing to know.
But then you did.
If you’re reading this, you probably just found out that your partner has had an affair. Your mind is swirling, how could they do this? They promised to love you and only you for the rest of your life. They are the person you had children with – the person you actually allowed in – and they had an affair…
Whether it was a one-time fling, a relationship that lasted several months. The betrayal felt from an unfaithful partner is like nothing you’ve ever experienced. Who is this person, and how can you ever trust them again?
Now You’re Left Trying To Figure Out Where Things Went Wrong
You wonder what you could have done to prevent your partner from straying. You start going back in your mind to every time your partner hid their phone, stayed out too late, or just acted weird. I should have known, you say to yourself, feeling so angry and so hurt.
You don’t even recognize your partner anymore, and you’re not sure if this can be saved. You’ve never felt more alone than you do right now. The thought of going to marriage counseling just to revisit all of this again makes you feel sick to your stomach.
Relationship Therapy In Skaneateles and Online in New York and Florida
When An Affair Is Discovered, It’s Like Your House Is On Fire.
Every discovered text, every unknown purchase, and every secret email is like watching another wall become engulfed in flames. All you can do is stand by, helplessly watching it all burn to the ground.
You never asked for this. And now it feels like its up to you to rebuild.
Everything you thought you knew has changed, your relationship as you knew it, will never be the same. The grieving process can feel both emotionally and physically exhausting.
When I work with a couple that is reeling in the aftermath of an affair, I let them know that they have two choices:
They can either level the lot and put it up for sale and walk away. Or they can level the lot and rebuild it by deciding which pieces to hold onto and which ones to let go.
Either way, you have to level the lot.
There is no option to “just go back to the way things were,” because the way things were, led you here. That’s possibly the hardest part: Realizing that you can’t go back.
I Know It Feels Like Your Relationship Can’t Survive This, But I Want You To Know That It Can.
I know you feel like there’s no hope and I know you have no idea how you can ever trust your partner again. I’m here to tell you that you can heal from the betrayal and regain trust in your partner.
Guiding couples through healing after an affair requires expert knowledge and training. Not just any therapist can do it well, and the stakes are high.
Together, we’ll uncover the blind spots that left your relationship susceptible. We will work to strengthen those led to this. While no relationship is affair-proof, therapy is the best way to heal and re-build trust.
Picking up the pieces after an affair takes time and hard work.
While I try to take a brief approach with all of my clients, infidelity counseling is a long process and can sometimes take 6-12 months or longer.
Infidelity counseling essentially requires us to grieve the loss of the relationship you once had and rebuild a new. This is done while also working to re-establish trust and a sense of security that has been lost.
But there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.
I’ve seen many couples heal from infidelity. When they do they come out stronger than ever before. They develop a new sense of trust and purpose in their relationship.
It IS possible.
I can help you get there. Schedule your free, 10-minute phone consultation and get started today. You don’t have to do this alone.